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Dreaded going on holidays

Aug 16, 2021

⁣⁣I used to dread going on holiday 😬👙
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Yep... dread. Excitement of course was thrown in there but clouded with this shadow ⁣⁣
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The pre-holiday diet would last for weeks⁣⁣
Restriction of food groups⁣⁣
Depriving myself of anything I liked or enjoyed⁣⁣
Over-exercising…. ⁣⁣
Pushing myself so hard to get that ‘bikini body’⁣⁣
I would try diet after diet⁣⁣
Weighing myself daily ⁣⁣
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In the end, I wasn’t happy⁣⁣
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I lost some weight BUT⁣⁣
My anxiety was the worse⁣⁣
I was so so self-critical ⁣⁣
My thoughts raced⁣⁣
I dreaded it with every fibre of my being⁣⁣
It was never enough⁣⁣
I hadn't done enough⁣⁣
And as a result ⁣⁣
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I was so unhappy ⁣⁣
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The thought of not being able to control my exercise or my food whilst away used to make me spiral even further ⁣⁣
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I’d end up binge eating and sabotaging myself the entire trip ⁣⁣
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Feeling guilty for eating and drinking and not exercising enough ⁣⁣
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Then criticising myself over and over again
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I'd start again when I got home, or Monday or January 1st 🤦‍♀️ ⁣⁣
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I was scared people would look at my body and judge it⁣⁣
People would stare at me ⁣⁣
Criticise me ⁣⁣
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What would they think? ⁣⁣
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Healing my relationship with myself - healed more than I ever imagined.⁣⁣
Loving myself has been the greatest gift. ⁣⁣
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I’m on holiday this week..⁣⁣
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Exercise and food have been the least most important thing about the trip so far. In turn, I’m moving, exercising and eating with freedom.⁣⁣
Without guilt, restriction or punishment. ⁣⁣
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My happiness is the most important thing. ⁣⁣
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As is yours, now and always ⁣⁣
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If you are thinking about summer and feel that dread of going to the beach.⁣⁣
The anxiety of getting in that bikini⁣⁣
Covering up with shorts and avoiding the beach
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Please gorgeous know - your thoughts and feelings about yourself and your body are what really matters. ⁣⁣
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Not what your body looks like. ⁣⁣
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Don’t let those thoughts stop you from living this amazing life. ⁣⁣
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You can enjoy your holiday and not have this shadow over you. ⁣⁣
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You are worthy⁣⁣
Your body is amazing just the way it is
You are and always have been enough 💓

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